Apple Branded Least Green Tech Company

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Vol 47 Issue 17

Mariano Rivera Yelled At For Blowing Save

NEW YORK—Following Mariano Rivera's second consecutive blown save Sunday, coaches and executives led the11-time All Star and World Series MVP into an office, slammed the door shut, and reamed him out for several minutes, team sources reported.
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Apple Branded Least Green Tech Company

Last week, Greenpeace released a list of tech companies ranked according to the environmental friendliness of their energy consumption, and Apple came in last. What do you think?

  • “Well, then, I guess the whole green movement isn’t that cool after all.”

    Josh Coleman
    Freezer Operator
  • "No big surprise. Have you been in an Apple Store? It takes 5,500 square feet to sell a dozen iPads."

    Tracy Katayama
    Weight Analyst
  • "La, la, la! I can’t hear you through these identity-defining earbuds!"

    Charles Novog
    Unemployed
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