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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Apple Buys Beats Electronics For $3 Billion

Apple announced this week they will pay $3 billion to buy music brand Beats Electronics, the maker of the popular Beats by Dre premium headphones, bringing co-founders Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine onto their executive team. What do you think?

  • “Just when you thought Apple couldn’t get any more street.”

    Gerald Havermeyer Systems Analyst
  • “I knew these headphones were going to be hugely successful when I heard about that kid who got murdered for his pair.”

    Margaret Joff Packing Specialist
  • “Steve Jobs would’ve gotten all of N.W.A.”

    Bill Koerner Textbook Pricer
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