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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Apple Has More Cash Than U.S. Treasury

According to the most recent available financial statements, Apple Inc. has more cash on hand—over $76 billion—than the U.S. Treasury. What do you think?

  • "Well, the user experience in this country is just terrible."

    Lou Gajda Cable Splicer
  • "Great, so why don't we sell them a couple of aircraft carriers and we'll be back in black."

    Sonya Howland Film Flat Inspector
  • "This is why I took all my money out of U.S. currency and put it into safe, stable iTunes gift cards."

    Philip Keeton Yeast-Culture Developer
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