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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Apple To Diversify Emojis

Responding to criticism that their emojis aren’t diverse enough, Apple has announced that they are working with programmers to add more multicultural and racially diverse faces to its 845-icon catalogue of emojis. What do you think?

  • “Reducing different cultures to single icons is a big step forward.”

    Jessica Goodwin Systems Analyst
  • “Good. Sometimes I just want to tell my friends I’m laughing like a Cambodian.”

    Glenn Burkley Security Camera Installer
  • “I just hope there’s no one on the internet who would use these new emojis in a racist message.”

    Michael Kirkland Amusement Park Inspector

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