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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Apple Unveils iPad Mini

At a press event today, Apple CEO Tim Cook unveiled the iPad Mini, a 7.9-inch version of its popular iPad tablet that features an ultrathin, light design and is intended to compete with smaller e-readers such as the Kindle Fire and Google Nexus 7. What do you think?

  • “Finally, a device more convenient than the iPad and less convenient than the iPhone!”

    Kim Bachrach Unemployed
  • “See, my natural instinct would have been to make it bigger and heavier, and maybe tack on a full-size keyboard.”

    Kurt Duncan Banquet Manager
  • “That’ll certainly make my regular iPad feel like a big grown boy.”

    Daniel Atmajian Burial Plot Salesman

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