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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Turner Broadcasting has promised to pay the City of Boston $2 million to compensate for the cost of removing illegally placed promotional signs that were thought to be bombs. What do you think?
  • "That's a lot, but think of how much they would have had to pay the City of Boston if they had actually been real bombs."

    Penelope LaCroix Poker Dealer
  • "Boston reacted correctly–authorities there are obviously aware of the new terrorist trend of bringing as much attention as possible to hidden explosive devices."

    Carter Clay Systems Analyst
  • "What about all the Cheers shit you used to see around town? Man, that used to freak me out all the time."

    Ted Bonello Paramedic

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