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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Aqua Teen Payout Force

Turner Broadcasting has promised to pay the City of Boston $2 million to compensate for the cost of removing illegally placed promotional signs that were thought to be bombs. What do you think?
  • "That's a lot, but think of how much they would have had to pay the City of Boston if they had actually been real bombs."

    Penelope LaCroix Poker Dealer
  • "Boston reacted correctly–authorities there are obviously aware of the new terrorist trend of bringing as much attention as possible to hidden explosive devices."

    Carter Clay Systems Analyst
  • "What about all the Cheers shit you used to see around town? Man, that used to freak me out all the time."

    Ted Bonello Paramedic

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