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Arafat Under Fire

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

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NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

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PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

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RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.
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Arafat Under Fire

Trapped by Israeli tanks in his West Bank compound, Yasser Arafat is under fire for not doing more to stop the recent Palestinian terrorist attacks. What do you think?
  • "Arafat would never be behind any acts of terrorism. This is a Nobel Peace Prize winner we're talking about here."

    Mary Putnam Graphic Designer
  • "I saw something about Arafat in the news last week, but I didn't catch exactly what it was any of the 63 times."

    Nancy McCune Teacher
  • "I don't know, some days I'm a Sharon guy and some days I'm an Arafat guy. Depends on my mood, really."

    Craig Cuthbert Landscaper
  • "It's a tough situation Arafat's in, trying to broker a peace accord while also keeping the suicide bombers happy."

    Ellis Richardson Systems Analyst
  • "The U.S. should shift its focus from eliminating Saddam Hussein to eliminating Arafat. He seems easier to get."

    Todd Kenilworth Truck Driver
  • "I honestly have no clue what's going on with that whole Arab-Israeli mess. And I'm Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee."

    Joseph Biden Senator

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