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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Arby’s Offering Secret ‘Meat Mountain’ Sandwich For Those Who Ask

After Arby’s released an advertisement with an image of a huge stack of meat and started receiving requests from customers, the fast food chain started offering a $10 “Meat Mountain” sandwich to those who ask for it at the cash register. What do you think?

  • “Well, if you’re going to ask for something in secret, I’d say this is the perfect candidate.”

    Ralph McGee Bike Rack Installer
  • “Great, now I don’t have to watch the cashier become increasingly horrified as I describe what I want.”

    Annette Tandy Systems Analyst
  • “Trust me, when they see my physique, they won’t need me to ask.”

    Brian Goodwin Web Forum Moderator
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