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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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'Archie' To Become Live-Action Film

Warner Bros. Pictures will produce a live-action movie based on the 72-year-old Archie comics franchise, portraying the characters of Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead in a modern-day version of Riverdale. What do you think?

  • “Good. I like to know what kind of crap is coming out as far ahead of time as possible.”

    Clyde Bruneau Soda Jerk
  • “It’ll be refreshing to see a comic book adaptation that doesn’t involve superheroes, loud explosions, or characters that anyone remembers.”

    Carmen Vazquez Lye Treater
  • “That’s great! And here I was, about to go home and kill myself.”

    Willie Savard Electrical Line Splicer

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