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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Archiving The Unabomber

Theodore J. Kaczynski, aka the Unabomber, is fighting to reclaim 40,000 pages of his writings and correspondences so he can preserve them for public reference. What do you think?
  • "It's just like this government to try to suppress the rich history of violent, technophobic loners.

    Sol Raleigh Caterer
  • "In hindsight, I bet he wishes he'd made an exception to his anti-technology stance for Kinko's."

    Ryan Levy Lead Paint Abatement Consultant
  • "Forty-thousand pages? I hope they get someone with a soothing voice for the audio book."

    Carol Camin CT Scan Operator
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