Archiving The Unabomber

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.
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Archiving The Unabomber

Theodore J. Kaczynski, aka the Unabomber, is fighting to reclaim 40,000 pages of his writings and correspondences so he can preserve them for public reference. What do you think?
  • "It's just like this government to try to suppress the rich history of violent, technophobic loners.

    Sol Raleigh
    Caterer
  • "In hindsight, I bet he wishes he'd made an exception to his anti-technology stance for Kinko's."

    Ryan Levy
    Lead Paint Abatement Consultant
  • "Forty-thousand pages? I hope they get someone with a soothing voice for the audio book."

    Carol Camin
    CT Scan Operator