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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Are Sack Lunches Unsafe?

A study published in the journal Pediatrics showed that most meats and vegetables parents packed in their children’s lunches were not kept in a safe temperature range once at school. What do you think?

  • "Maybe for poor kids. They can't afford air-conditioned lunch boxes."

    Jocelyn Brower Yard Supervisor
  • "I'm sick of all this overprotection. When I was a kid, I ate bag lunches every day, threw up all over Mrs. Sherman's third-grade class one time, never lived it down for my entire schooling, and developed deep, lifelong insecurity issues, just like a kid is supposed to."

    Wayne Heneghan Systems Analyst
  • "There's no credible evidence to suggest our school lunches are getting warmer."

    Darren Flemons Nurse Assistant
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