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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Arizona Shooter Sentenced To Life

Jared Loughner, the gunman who shot six dead and wounded 12 others, including former congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, outside a Tucson, AZ shopping center in January 2011, was sentenced to seven consecutive terms of life in prison, plus an additional 140 years. What do you think?

  • “After seven lifetimes in jail, that 140 years is going to feel like a cakewalk.”

    Zach Plosser Systems Analyst
  • “Whoa. Looks like someone caught the judge on a bad day.”

    Adam Shaw Model
  • “See? If we had better gun control laws, we’d never get to experience moments of justice like this.”

    Rachel Carlin Coupon Copywriter
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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