Arizona Shooter Sentenced To Life

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Vol 48 Issue 45

Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good

CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good. “Oh, man, ...
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Arizona Shooter Sentenced To Life

Jared Loughner, the gunman who shot six dead and wounded 12 others, including former congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, outside a Tucson, AZ shopping center in January 2011, was sentenced to seven consecutive terms of life in prison, plus an additional 140 years. What do you think?

  • “After seven lifetimes in jail, that 140 years is going to feel like a cakewalk.”

    Zach Plosser
    Systems Analyst
  • “Whoa. Looks like someone caught the judge on a bad day.”

    Adam Shaw
    Model
  • “See? If we had better gun control laws, we’d never get to experience moments of justice like this.”

    Rachel Carlin
    Coupon Copywriter
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