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Arizona Super Bowl Viewers Shown Pornography

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Arizona Super Bowl Viewers Shown Pornography

Comcast cable subscribers in Tucson, AZ were surprised when a 30-second clip of a woman taking a man's erect penis out of his pants interrupted the final minutes of the Super Bowl. What do you think?
  • "Oh, that was porn? I thought that was what was happening on the Kiss Cam."

    Erin Kopsak Systems Analyst
  • "That's strange. Up where I live, we just had the Penguin interrupt the broadcast and threaten to bring Gotham City to its knees if we didn’t give him $10 million."

    Clay Yonda Environmental Services Supervisor
  • "That was the only part of the Super Bowl that I understood."

    Albert Korein Collections Clerk

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