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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Arkansas Nuns Excommunicated

Six nuns in Arkansas were excommunicated from the Catholic Church for heresy after failing to leave a Canadian sect run by a woman claiming to be possessed by the Virgin Mary. What do you think?
  • "Gee whiz, Arkansas nuns are the worst."

    Deborah Vale Sales Associate
  • "Tough break. It's rough getting nun work in the private sector after getting fired."

    Ernst Pylor Janitor
  • "Nuns excommunicated for heresy? Is anyone else as turned on as I am?"

    Eric Patel Car Salesman

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