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Army Extends 50,000 Soldiers' Tours of Duty In Iraq

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
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Army Extends 50,000 Soldiers' Tours of Duty In Iraq

The Army is forcing 50,000 soldiers into extended duty in Iraq. What do you think?
  • "If these soldiers wanted out so bad, maybe they should have finished the job within two weeks like the president wanted."

    Arnold Whitman Metallurgist
  • "I instituted a stop-loss to keep my last girlfriend from leaving. It doesn't work."

    Jay Katz Sports Vendor
  • "They've been pretty busy. I'm sure they'll appreciate the extra time to see some of the sights."

    Helen Guiteau Package Delivery Driver

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