Army Recruitment On Campus

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Army Recruitment On Campus

The Supreme Court ruled that universities must allow military recruiters on campus if they are going to accept federal money. What do you think?
  • "So...exactly how much do you have to endow for permission to raise an army?"

    Sara Dunne
  • "I thought I was being recruited once at my frat, but it turns out that Party Patrol is not one of our nation’s armed forces."

    Drew Alexander
    Systems Analyst
  • "Finally, an actual career path for 17th-Century French Lit majors."

    Chase Foy
    Financial Manager