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Army Recruitment On Campus

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
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Army Recruitment On Campus

The Supreme Court ruled that universities must allow military recruiters on campus if they are going to accept federal money. What do you think?
  • "So...exactly how much do you have to endow for permission to raise an army?"

    Sara Dunne Goldsmith
  • "I thought I was being recruited once at my frat, but it turns out that Party Patrol is not one of our nation’s armed forces."

    Drew Alexander Systems Analyst
  • "Finally, an actual career path for 17th-Century French Lit majors."

    Chase Foy Financial Manager

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