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Ashcroft's Vague Warnings

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Ashcroft's Vague Warnings

U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft has issued several vague warnings of "credible threats" of terrorism, urging Americans to stay on alert. What do you think?
  • "I applaud Ashcroft for his warnings. How else would I know when to be on alert for terrorist activity? Look—look how on-alert I am right now."

    Virginia Innes Teacher
  • "I thought Ashcroft's most recent warning of possible terrorist attacks was calm and controlled enough, if you ignored the dark, spreading stain on the front of his trousers."

    Brent Cleveland Doctor
  • "So Ashcroft didn't specifically mention anything about the Golden Gate Bridge, five pounds of weapons-grade plutonium, or next Thursday afternoon? Cool."

    Todd Booth Roofer
  • "Does Ashcroft know something we don't? What is it? Never mind, I don't want to know. Wait, yes, I do—tell me! Tell me now! No, don't! No! Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb..."

    Iris MacNaughton Graphic Designer
  • "Gee, the things Ashcroft says seem reasonable enough when they scroll across the bottom of the screen during Friends."

    Henry Davidson Cashier
  • "The whole damn country's been paranoid about terrorism ever since the whole damn country was devastated by terrorism."

    Christopher Adams Systems Analyst

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