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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Ashton Kutcher Ad Pulled Amid Charges Of Racism

An ad for Popchips featuring Ashton Kutcher speaking in a stereotypical Indian accent and wearing brown-face makeup was pulled after a public outcry. What do you think?

  • "I, for one, am glad Popchips decided to go with an American actor instead of outsourcing the job to an actual Indian."

    Warren Tracy Systems Analyst
  • "None of this would have happened if society had more ardently opposed Ashton Kutcher's career in the first place."

    Tara Hall Geodesist
  • "Why was it racist? Did they not make him brown enough?"

    Lou Zellner Reject Opener
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