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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Ashton Kutcher Ad Pulled Amid Charges Of Racism

An ad for Popchips featuring Ashton Kutcher speaking in a stereotypical Indian accent and wearing brown-face makeup was pulled after a public outcry. What do you think?

  • "I, for one, am glad Popchips decided to go with an American actor instead of outsourcing the job to an actual Indian."

    Warren Tracy Systems Analyst
  • "None of this would have happened if society had more ardently opposed Ashton Kutcher's career in the first place."

    Tara Hall Geodesist
  • "Why was it racist? Did they not make him brown enough?"

    Lou Zellner Reject Opener

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