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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Assange Seeks Asylum In Ecuador

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, who is currently awaiting extradition from the UK to Sweden to face rape and sexual assault charges, has taken refuge in the Ecuadorean embassy in London and is seeking political asylum in the South American country. What do you think?

  • "Can't he just go to Roman Polanski's house?"

    Clara LaFleur Gasket-Molder
  • "Man, he’s going to get nailed with some serious checked baggage fees for all the sunscreen he’ll need to pack."

    Martin Banker Systems Analyst
  • "Dammit. How long does this guy think I’m going to keep feeding his cat?"

    Sean Loew Nozzle Worker

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