Asteroid Narrowly Misses Earth

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

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Asteroid Narrowly Misses Earth

A 150-foot asteroid known as 2012 DA14 will pass by Earth today, coming within 17,000 miles of hitting the planet—closer than many communications satellites—and narrowly avoiding an impact that would have destroyed a 750-square-mile area of the surface. What do you think?

  • “Jesus Christ! Do you think it saw us?”

    Howard Rosenstein
  • “What a great name for an asteroid!”

    Richard Goddard
    Can Filler
  • “What, that’s it? We’re not even going to try to blow it up?”

    Winnie Chapman
    Denture Finisher