Asteroid Probe Returns To Earth

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Vol 46 Issue 24

USC's Rules Violations

The NCAA says Reggie Bush took cash while playing for the Trojans, but that was hardly the only thing that came to light during its investigation of USC.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

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Asteroid Probe Returns To Earth

A Japanese spacecraft deployed to an asteroid seven years ago returned home on Sunday, possibly carrying the first extraterrestrial rock sample since the moon landings. What do you think?

  • "Hopefully they let Bruce Willis take a few jabs at it before they start analyzing, just in case it starts getting any bright ideas."

    Barbara Dallas
    Systems Analyst
  • "Do they have some sort of machine that confirms this data? If not, I have a rock tumbler."

    Scott Lambert
    Open-Shank Coverer
  • "If no one's called it yet, I got dibs on the space rock."

    Darren Ripley
    Wash Helper
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