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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Asteroid Probe Returns To Earth

A Japanese spacecraft deployed to an asteroid seven years ago returned home on Sunday, possibly carrying the first extraterrestrial rock sample since the moon landings. What do you think?

  • "Hopefully they let Bruce Willis take a few jabs at it before they start analyzing, just in case it starts getting any bright ideas."

    Barbara Dallas Systems Analyst
  • "Do they have some sort of machine that confirms this data? If not, I have a rock tumbler."

    Scott Lambert Open-Shank Coverer
  • "If no one's called it yet, I got dibs on the space rock."

    Darren Ripley Wash Helper

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