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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Astronaut To Deliver UConn Commencement Address From Space

The University of Connecticut has announced that alumnus Rick Mastracchio, who is currently orbiting the globe aboard the International Space Station, will deliver this year’s commencement address from space. What do you think?

  • “Instead of giving a speech, I would be cool with this astronaut guy just swallowing floating drops of liquid.”

    Daniel Barry Hard Drive Installer
  • “Clearly, a UConn education is out of this world!”

    Michael Framingham Systems Analyst
  • “The students should really pay attention. He’s probably going to give a lot of good advice about going to outer space.”

    Katherine Phipps Pet Adoption Agent
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