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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Atheists Unbless Florida Road

To protest government officials involvement last year in the blessing of a county road, an atheist group in Lakeland, FL "washed away" the blessing this weekend. What do you think?

  • "Is this country no longer safe for terrible Christian drivers?"

    Patrick Higgs Dicer Operator
  • "Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! ’Cause God already put a super force field on the blessing with a strength of infinity!"

    Kathryn Osborne Roll Tender
  • "Well, is the road fucking blessed or not? I got places to be!"

    Joe Feldstein Ordinance Artificer

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