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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Atlanta Running Out Of Water

By Army Corps of Engineers estimates, the city of Atlanta could run out of water in about 100 days. What do you think?
  • "The Coca-Cola headquarters are right there. Can't they just step in with some crisp, cool refreshment?"

    Darby McGuinness Roofer
  • "Yeah, well, St. Louis has been running out of good men for years now!"

    Bunny Raleigh Florist
  • "Oh no! Then where will I go for various conventions?"

    Cole Dalton Banker

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