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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Atlanta Running Out Of Water

By Army Corps of Engineers estimates, the city of Atlanta could run out of water in about 100 days. What do you think?
  • "The Coca-Cola headquarters are right there. Can't they just step in with some crisp, cool refreshment?"

    Darby McGuinness Roofer
  • "Yeah, well, St. Louis has been running out of good men for years now!"

    Bunny Raleigh Florist
  • "Oh no! Then where will I go for various conventions?"

    Cole Dalton Banker

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