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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Atlantic City Mayor Resigns

After an absence of nearly two weeks in which his whereabouts were largely unknown, Robert W. Levy, mayor of Atlantic City, NJ, returned to office only to resign. What do you think?
  • "Well thank goodness he's gone. Erratic and suspicious behavior has no place in Atlantic City."

    Paulina Kntuson Systems Analyst
  • "I'm still having trouble getting past the first part. Why would anyone–anyone–disappear from Atlantic City for more than an hour?"

    Tim Lunt Graphic Designer
  • "He was a terrible mayor. He promised us constituents hairsprays and cheese fries! Where are my hairsprays and cheese fries?!"

    Tony Regina Hot Dog Vendor

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