adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

AT&T Claims Verizon Lied About Coverage

Telecommunications giant AT&T; is suing Verizon Wireless for ads Verizon ran suggesting AT&T; had gaps in its network. What do you think?
  • "Damn right they're lying! AT&T is capable of dropping calls anywhere in the continental U.S."

    John Anzalone Technical Recruiter
  • "Wow. The last thing you expect a company to do in its advertisements is make claims that it's better than its rivals."

    Eric Caiafa Plumbing Foreman
  • "Let the exhilarating truth ring out: Where AT&T lacks 3G coverage, it will likely support a lesser, but mostly functional network standard."

    Emily Steele Civil Engineering Technologist

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close