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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Attorney General Gonzales Resigns

After mounting controversy, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned from office yesterday. What do you think?
  • "Congrats, Dirk Kempthorne! You're now my favorite current cabinet member!"

    Doug Harford Systems Analyst
  • "How am I supposed to explain this to my kids? That the attorney general is just on a business trip for a while? That he'll be back in a little bit? Think of the children!"

    Leslie Doniacz Plumbing Apprentice
  • "Good. Maybe now we can restore some dignity to the attorney general's office and get a classy singer-songwriter type like John Ashcroft."

    William Kern Gem Cutter
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