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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Attorney General Gonzales Resigns

After mounting controversy, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned from office yesterday. What do you think?
  • "Congrats, Dirk Kempthorne! You're now my favorite current cabinet member!"

    Doug Harford Systems Analyst
  • "How am I supposed to explain this to my kids? That the attorney general is just on a business trip for a while? That he'll be back in a little bit? Think of the children!"

    Leslie Doniacz Plumbing Apprentice
  • "Good. Maybe now we can restore some dignity to the attorney general's office and get a classy singer-songwriter type like John Ashcroft."

    William Kern Gem Cutter

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