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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Australia Apologizes To Aborigines

Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd delivered a speech in Parliament in which he apologized to the country’s indigenous people for past wrongs. What do you think?
  • "Wound healed! Can't believe nobody thought of doing that for the past 230 years."

    Callie Patterson Systems Analyst
  • "Sometimes you just need to believe in the power of words: cheap, cheap words."

    Doug Bernwood Scanner Salesman
  • "The question is, will this put an end to years of hostile, divisive debate, or will they all just continue drinking?"

    Al Tiecher Plumber
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