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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Australia Apologizes To Aborigines

Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd delivered a speech in Parliament in which he apologized to the country’s indigenous people for past wrongs. What do you think?
  • "Wound healed! Can't believe nobody thought of doing that for the past 230 years."

    Callie Patterson Systems Analyst
  • "Sometimes you just need to believe in the power of words: cheap, cheap words."

    Doug Bernwood Scanner Salesman
  • "The question is, will this put an end to years of hostile, divisive debate, or will they all just continue drinking?"

    Al Tiecher Plumber

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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