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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Australia Puts 300 Sharks On Twitter

To prevent attacks on beachgoers, Australian government researchers have tagged 338 sharks with transmitters that send out an alert via Twitter anytime one of the animals swims within a half mile of a beach. What do you you think?

  • “As someone who swims with seals at dusk every day, I find this very helpful.”

    Colin Havermeyer Adult Orthodontist
  • “What’s wrong with just having a little girl on the beach pointing at the ocean and screaming? That always seems to create an appropriate level of panic.”

    Finn Kehoe Jewel Finisher
  • “Man, Google+ is never going to take off.”

    Gwyneth Kingman Assistant Legal Officer
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