After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
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Autism More Common Than Thought

A new government study published in the journal Pediatrics indicates that one in every 91 American children is affected by autism instead of the previously estimated number of one in 150. What do you think?
  • "Wow, that means there is one child with autism at all times in Chuck E. Cheese."

    Wendy Roeder Knurling-Machine Operator
  • "Back in the day, we didn't go over-diagnosing every kid with a problem. We just excluded them."

    Stan Benzinger Mold Cleaner
  • "My autistic kids are the coolest, though, because they don't interrupt me when I'm on the phone."

    Gordon Pirnia Winch Operator

After Birth

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