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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Average American Consumes 34 Gigabytes Daily

A study from the University of California, San Diego, reports that each day the average American takes in 34 gigabytes of data. What do you think?
  • "Wow. And to think, there are data-starved children in Africa who subsist on just kilobytes a day."

    Doug Fischer Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, that sounds impressive. I must be pretty smart."

    Trina De Marrias Ultrasound Technician
  • "Now, if we could only figure out a way to cram some high fructose corn syrup in there."

    Tyler Kuehn Soft-Mud Molder
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