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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Avoiding The Anti-Christ

A pregnant woman in England is trying to get her hospital to induce labor so the baby will not be born on 6/6/06. What do you think?
  • "Why didn't this woman do the responsible thing and get an abortion?"

    Annette Rogers Venture Capitalist
  • "Yeah, like it's that easy to trick Satan."

    Dick Harris Systems Analyst
  • "I went through the same thing when I feared my baby would be born a Leo."

    Liam O'Donnell Ticket Taker
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