adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
End Of Section
  • More News

Axl Rose Ranked Greatest Vocalist Of All Time

According to a new chart comparing the vocal ranges of 100 singers across different music genres and eras, Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose is the greatest vocalist of all time with a singing range of five octaves. What do you think?

  • “I’m glad this humble, gentle giant of music is finally getting the credit he’s due.”

    Jason Breschi Personal Trainer
  • “Ranking singers’ worth chiefly on their technical proficiency is so rock and roll.”

    Johan Knowles Systems Analyst
  • “Greatest vocalist? Hardly. Greatest lyricist? Absolutely.”

    Eden Wagner Live Chat Assistant

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close