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Baby Einstein DVDs Don't Work

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Baby Einstein DVDs Don't Work

A research team at the University of Washington has determined that babies watching television for an hour a day learned less vocabulary than babies that watched no television. What do you think?
  • "True, but they develop witty comebacks and zingers a lot earlier."

    Rick Klein Golf Pro
  • "I'm happy to teach my baby personally, but are these researchers aware that everything I know also comes from TV?"

    Cynthia Haggarty Mail Sorter
  • "This is great news. Finally a proven method to get my baby to shut the hell up."

    Paul Lamphert Systems Analyst

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