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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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‘Bachelor’ Production Halted Over Sexual Misconduct

Filming of ABC’s “Bachelor In Paradise” has been suspended while the network investigates an unspecified case of sexual “misconduct” on set. What do you think?

  • “Sexual misconduct-based production halts are all just part of finding the one.”

    Annette Pelley Army Painter
  • “Damn, I watch that show with enough guilt as is.”

    Ted Hale Fitness Historian
  • “That’s awful. I hope no one’s storylines were hurt.”

    Kevin Wescott Jump Measurer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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