Bald Eagles Thriving

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Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.
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Bald Eagles Thriving

A recent survey indicated that bald eagles would soon be taken off the endangered-species list. What do you think?
  • "Damn it! Every time I memorize the endangered-species list, some bureaucrat changes it."

    James Threadman
    Production Technician
  • "There goes any hope I had of my basement full of bald eagles appreciating in value."

    Paul Abramowicz
    Quality-Control Supervisor
  • "And with that, trout go back onto the endangered-species list."

    Karenne Eng
    Elevator Operator