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Barbie Appears On Cover Of ‘Sports Illustrated’ Swimsuit Issue

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Barbie Appears On Cover Of ‘Sports Illustrated’ Swimsuit Issue

Sports Illustrated celebrated the 50th anniversary of its popular swimsuit issue by featuring Barbie in a one-piece, inciting backlash from critics arguing that the cover promotes the objectification and sexualization of women. What do you think?

  • “This is horrible. Putting Barbie in a swimsuit completely undermines her standing as a feminist icon.”

    Angela Ward Systems Analyst
  • “Ooh, now I can get my Bryce Harper cover issue and make them kiss!”

    Gordon Scouler Lead Product Tester
  • “It’s time we stop viewing dolls as mere objects and start realizing they’re incredible, living creatures with minds of their own.”

    Colin Fisher Crop Grower

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