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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Batman, Superman To Star In Film Together

Warner Bros. Pictures announced that a sequel to this summer’s blockbuster Man of Steel would feature Superman teaming up with Batman, with the film slated to begin production next year. What do you think?

  • “It would be cool if they swapped uniforms.”

    Del Chabria Seasonal Farmworker
  • “It’s like Warner Bros. knows what I want before I do.”

    Owen Sims Jewelry Salesperson
  • “Good. I’ve wasted too many years cutting together Superman and Batman Begins into one cohesive film.”

    Beverly Uddo Laryngologist
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