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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Batman, Superman To Star In Film Together

Warner Bros. Pictures announced that a sequel to this summer’s blockbuster Man of Steel would feature Superman teaming up with Batman, with the film slated to begin production next year. What do you think?

  • “It would be cool if they swapped uniforms.”

    Del Chabria Seasonal Farmworker
  • “It’s like Warner Bros. knows what I want before I do.”

    Owen Sims Jewelry Salesperson
  • “Good. I’ve wasted too many years cutting together Superman and Batman Begins into one cohesive film.”

    Beverly Uddo Laryngologist

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