Bear Attacks Rise Sharply Across U.S.

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Bear Attacks Rise Sharply Across U.S.

During the past week, at least seven people in five states have been attacked by bears, including grizzly bears, brown bears, and the historically more docile black bear. What do you think?

  • “If a bear tries to swipe your pic-a-nic basket, just let him have it.”

    Tommy Whiting
    Awning Hanger
  • “But we’re the most lovable species!”

    Patrick Egbert
    Fish Smoker
  • “That’s so scary! I’m glad I haven’t left my apartment since the internet started.”

    Carey Self
    Copy Editor