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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Bear Attacks Rise Sharply Across U.S.

During the past week, at least seven people in five states have been attacked by bears, including grizzly bears, brown bears, and the historically more docile black bear. What do you think?

  • “If a bear tries to swipe your pic-a-nic basket, just let him have it.”

    Tommy Whiting Awning Hanger
  • “But we’re the most lovable species!”

    Patrick Egbert Fish Smoker
  • “That’s so scary! I’m glad I haven’t left my apartment since the internet started.”

    Carey Self Copy Editor
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