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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Beatles Edition Of Rock Band Coming Out

The Beatles: Rock Band is scheduled to hit shelves Sept. 9. What do you think?
  • “Finally. I was going broke replacing my smashed instruments from playing the The Who: Rock Band.”

    Kai Twiller Plumber
  • "I heard that after completing the game you and your friends never talk again."

    Patti Wipprecht Branch Controls Specialist
  • "Forget going to Best Buy on Sept. 9—there'll be hordes of screaming girls everywhere."

    Walter Holmes Pawn Shop Owner

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