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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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Beck Holds DC Rally

Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck held a rally on the National Mall on Saturday, the anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech. What do you think?

  • "He really got our momentum going. Now, onward to take back Worcester, Mass. from Lucy Stone and the National Women's Rights Convention!"

    David Kenyon Systems Analyst
  • "I don't mind the MLK thing, but that's where Forrest Gump found Jenny!"

    Rebecca Turner Shipping Clerk
  • "Yeah, he really showed everyone how America has lost touch with its roots and explained why we absolutely need new leaders in the mold of our great Founding Fathers, like Glenn Beck himself, a Mormon with no aspirations of higher education."

    Corwin Armstrong Security Guard

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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