Beck: Trump Making Me 'Uncomfortable'

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Vol 47 Issue 14

Detroit Pistons JumboTron Not Even Trying Anymore

AUBURN HILLS, MI—Making flippant remarks about the game such as "BASKETBALL GAME HAPPENING NOW" and "WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THIS?" the Detroit Pistons' JumboTron has reportedly stopped trying to pretend to care abou...

Oh, God, Area Man Making His Move

BRIGHTON, NY—Patrons of the Full Moon Tavern are reporting that oh, God, area man Darrell Barnes is walking right up to that beautiful woman sitting by the window.

Zip-Lining Day Trip To Somehow Save Marriage

CONCORD, NH—According to sources, the deteriorating 10-year-old marriage of Dale and Gina Byer will somehow be magically restored this weekend by a zip-lining excursion to the mountains of northern New Hampshire.

Guy In Audience Shouts Out Perfect Thing

COLUMBUS, OH—Audience members at Crossroads Cinema were treated to an unexpected delight Friday when someone in the crowd shouted out a hilarious thing at the exact right moment, sources reported.
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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Beck: Trump Making Me 'Uncomfortable'

Talk show host Glenn Beck said that he’s "a little uncomfortable" with some of Donald Trump's claims about Obama's birth certificate and that the nation doesn't need a "show boat." What do you think?

  • "Please, please, please don’t make me pick a side."

    Ian Phipps
    Dentist
  • "To be honest, I'm even more terrified than I was before, knowing now that Glenn Beck is capable of nuance and restraint."

    Martin Newsome
    Sack Provider
  • "I'm not comfortable living in a world where I have to think about both of them at the same time."

    Monica Palermo
    Paramedic
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