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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Bed Found In Fundamentalist Temple

Authorities searching a temple in the Texas compound of the Fundamentalist Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints found a bed they believe was where underage brides were forced to have sex with their new husbands. What do you think?
  • "What do these girls want, a throne?"

    Paul Oswald Systems Analyst
  • "Hey, they bought the calf, so the veal wasn't free."

    Theresa Kurtz Mail Sorter
  • "How do they know that's what the bed was used for? Did they smell it?"

    Jeff Cafarelli Quality Assurance Manager
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