Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

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Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

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SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

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Beer Ads Targeting Kids

Anheuser-Busch is under fire from parents groups, who claim that Budweiser TV commercials featuring animated frogs, lizards and other animals are specifically designed to appeal to children. What do you think about alcohol companies marketing to minors?
  • "The cartoon beer frogs clearly target children. Budweiser should return to its 'Bring Me Another Bud, Bitch' campaign, which was aimed at adults."

    Eric Hoak Project Coordinator
  • "Anheuser-Busch did nothing wrong. They're just following that new law requiring all commercials to feature talking animals."

    Colleen Raydon Systems Analyst
  • "Kids are definitely influenced by these things. My 10-year-old daughter is a big Snoopy fan, and she won't stop taking out MetLife insurance policies."

    Lauryn Oldis Reference Librarian
  • "I don't approve of that commercial where Barney tricks Fred out of his Olde English 800 by dressing as a space alien."

    Alan Cimoli Roofer
  • "Hey, we've all had one too many Buds at some point and started targeting minors."

    Matthew Kravitz Opthamologist
  • "Man, no matter how many times those frogs say 'Bud,' 'Weis,' 'Er,' it just keeps getting funnier and funnier."

    Pete Green Pete Green

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