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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Beer Production Threatened By Climate Change

According to New Zealand climatologist Jim Salinger, climate change may result in reduced malted barley, which would limit beer production. What do you think?
  • "Very clever, ‘Dr. Salinger,’ or should I say, Al Gore!"

    Heidi Marsico Systems Analyst
  • "Could this limit the ability of my neighbor to brew his own beer, discuss brewing his own beer, boast about his talent for brewing beer, and browbeat his neighbors into trying his beer? Because in that case this could be a good thing."

    Hans Weinburger Secretary
  • "Doesn't affect me. I was born a butterscotch-schnapps man, and I'll die a butterscotch-schnapps man."

    Tom Fellows File Clerk

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