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Beloved's Controversial Award

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Beloved's Controversial Award

Some members of America's literary community are up in arms, claiming Toni Morrison's Beloved was named the best American novel of the past 25 years out of political correctness. What do you think?
  • "Beloved?! Over that, uh... one classic book? And what about that other one? Past 25 years, you said?"

    Amie Mondale
    Crime-Scene Cleaner
  • "Blah, blah, blah. When do we vote for best kebabs?"

    Andrew Blevins
    Building Manager
  • "Beloved is just another example of angry minorities trying to do away with the canon by generating moving works of literary genius."

    Syd Green
    Tailor

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