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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Ben Affleck To Play Batman

The president of Warner Bros. announced yesterday that Ben Affleck will play the role of Batman in the 2015 sequel to this summer’s Man of Steel, in which Batman will join forces with Superman. What do you think?

  • “I can see him as Batman. But I think everyone could be Batman.”

    Cassandra Doering Orthotist
  • “I trust the artistic judgment of the president of Warner Bros.”

    Phillip Blangsted Systems Analyst
  • “Very proud of him.”

    Murray Guerin Ski Molder

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