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Bert And Ernie Not Gay

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Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.

NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.
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Bert And Ernie Not Gay

Reacting to an online petition calling for Muppets Bert and Ernie to marry, Sesame Street released a statement on its Facebook page explaining that the duo are just friends and do not have a sexual orientation. What do you think?

  • "It seems like the show is missing a great opportunity to teach preschoolers about sex."

    Eric Davis
    Systems Analyst
  • "The petition-writers clearly don't know their Sesame Street history. The construction workers Biff and Sully were the ones who truly pushed an aggressive gay agenda in the 1970s."

    Zelma Wash
    Heel Gouger
  • "If you're looking for gay puppets, I just finished watching Sexame Streak and I highly recommend it."

    Lew Williams
    Unemployed

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