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Bettie Page Dead

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Bettie Page Dead

Infamous '50s pinup icon Bettie Page died yesterday at the age of 85 from the complications of a heart attack. What do you think?
  • "Who's the lucky guy who gets to embalm that broad?"

    Sam Tagliapietra Glass Blower
  • "Playboy owes her a debt of gratitude. As does Peep, Gander, Roving Eye, Look-See, Getta Loada Dose, Whoo Boy!, Ai-Ooooo-Ga!, Hotsy-Totsy, and Growwwl."

    Megan Young Systems Analyst
  • "Oh no. This is the first I've heard of it. I think that I will honor her by rubbing one out in the bathroom during my lunch break."

    Marvin Barnett Accountant

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