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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Bible Verses Encoded On U.S. Military Gun Sights

ABC News reported that, since 2005, military contractor Trijicon has been engraving coded Bible passages on sniper sights supplied to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. What do you think?
  • "It would be better if they were printed inside the barrel so the message would rub off on the bullet as it exited the gun."

    Lori Bean Systems Analyst
  • "And to think, all this time I’ve been hand-carving the Second Epistle to the Corinthians into my scope like some kind of chump."

    Brad Charles Sniper
  • "That's not fair. I heard the Jewish snipers got their rifles engraved with Seinfeld quotes."

    Jerry Bailey Substation Operator

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