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Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Bible Verses Encoded On U.S. Military Gun Sights

ABC News reported that, since 2005, military contractor Trijicon has been engraving coded Bible passages on sniper sights supplied to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. What do you think?
  • "It would be better if they were printed inside the barrel so the message would rub off on the bullet as it exited the gun."

    Lori Bean Systems Analyst
  • "And to think, all this time I’ve been hand-carving the Second Epistle to the Corinthians into my scope like some kind of chump."

    Brad Charles Sniper
  • "That's not fair. I heard the Jewish snipers got their rifles engraved with Seinfeld quotes."

    Jerry Bailey Substation Operator

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